Sweet E,

Today, you are one. The past year has been the most special year of my life, but I know each year from now on will feel that way. Your arrival has brought so much joy and, though you don’t know it yet, you were the tiny baby that made our family whole.

You’re too young now to realise how much your brothers love you, even if S sometimes beats you up. F couldn’t be more proud of you if he tried. Watching the three of you together makes my heart swell. I love you all so much, sometimes it hurts.

I was afraid of what life would look like when you arrived. How I’d cope, with a six month-old business and a newborn baby, a toddler, and a teen. But, it was like you knew. It still is. Your jolliness, your cheeky smile, and the way you crinkle your nose right before you laugh all make the tough days melt away.

I love watching you discover new things, from pushing your walker to learning how to clap and wave. Hearing you say your first words (Mama, Dada, Nana, and “uh oh”!), seeing your hilarious crawl, or just watching you watch the world around you are some of the most amazing things I’ve ever had the privilege of being a part of.

On your first birthday, I weep for how fast time has gone and how much I long for the little minutes when you were tiny and needed nothing more than me. But, I smile, too. Because watching you grow up is such a gift. And I can’t wait to make 365 memories this year, and every year after that.