Dear F,

It’s impossible to believe that it’s been 16 years since you came into this world and made me a mom. I scarcely recognize the version of me I was in those days; unsure, scared, and feeling very much at sea.

You made me brave.

From time to time, you walk up from your teenage lair (aka the basement) and I have to blink again to recognize and remember that the little boy you’ll always be to me is far closer to being a man than the baby I love so much.

And what a privilege it is to watch you turn into a young man.

To see you become unapologetically yourself.

To listen to your opinions and beliefs and be challenged by them.

To experience the wins (and the losses) alongside you, in sports, in school, in life.

To stand back and give you the space to grow into the big brother, son, and friend you’re meant to be.

This birthday feels strangely like the beginning of the end of your childhood. It’s as if I can feel the years slipping through my fingers the way your hand used to when we’d reached the playground and you wanted to get to the slide as fast as you could. And it probably seems a bit silly to anyone who knows us to hear me say that THIS is the end of your childhood, when we all know you’ve been towering over me since the start of Jr. High.

A lot of people will tell you that “these are the best years of your life”. They’re lying.

That’s not to say the next couple of years aren’t great, because they can be. But this is just another chapter you get to write, however you choose. And, if the previous chapters are any indication, I have a feeling they’ll be pretty alright.

But, remember: These years are YOUR years. To keep on figuring it out. To double down on learning and growing. To build friendships and let go of the things that aren’t helping you become who you want to be. These years won’t define the rest of your life. They’ll simply help shape you.

I know there’s pressure to do it all and be perfect. Don’t.

Put in your best effort but be OK with making mistakes. Failure isn’t the worst. Giving up is.

At 7:55pm, you will have officially been on this world for 16 years. You’ve made the world better for every minute of that time simply by being here.

Happy birthday, Soup.

Thanks for always being you.

PS. You should probably clean your room.