single mom

Refueled

It’s amazing to me how the simple things can have such great impacts in our lives.


It’s everything from the extra five minutes of sleep to a secret shared with a friend. It’s a hug, a kiss, or even a text that warms your heart when you’re feeling terrible. These tiny gestures, simple moments can refuel us in a heartbeat when we’re running completely on empty.

This past month has been unbelievable. If I put it all on paper, I find it hard to comprehend that it could have happened: apartment was left unlocked, found a new apartment, gave notice at old apartment, had old apartment stripped of all my belongings. It’s not the kind of shit that happens in my life. I’m supposed to read it in the newspaper and feel sorry for the person who lost it all, not be picking up the pieces myself. I’ve also uprooted my life, said goodbye to my dreams, and am yo-yoing in and out of my son’s life until I get my life back on track. It’s been exhilarating and exhausting, infurating and uplifting all at the same time.

Earlier this week, I was completely wiped out. Empty. Zonked. It’s no surprise: I can count on one hand the number of days I’ve laid low in the past three weeks. It’s been running out for coffee, grabbing drinks, hanging out on my couch, meeting up for a walk, Wii golf competitions and everything in between. I’ve bounced from distraction to distraction, driven myself until I completely ran out of fuel. I woke up Tuesday morning feeling miserable: I just had nothing left. I didn’t even feel like myself, so I stayed home and I laid on the couch all day. At 7:00, I went for a tea with my best friend and I enjoyed some downtime with her, when in fact… I should have enjoyed some downtime alone. The kind where you just stay in your pyjamas with unwashed hair and relax. On Wednesday, I decided to leave my comfort zone altogether. It was fun and mindblowing, and I found myself in bed by 9:00pm – an hour earlier than my usual!

It was a simple text message that refueled me this week. It spiralled into a marathon Skype call that kept me up past midnight and still managed to be energizing. It was laughing, open and shockingly refreshing. I woke up this morning on five hours of sleep, and in spite of being hungry and tired, I felt like a million bucks. I spent almost three hours talking to someone who gets it. Someone who could pull me out of my shell and get me out of my own head. Someone who could laugh both with me and at me.

It really is the little things in life.

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