I am a planner.
I like to orchestrate things. I always have, from planning out the way my friends and I would play our games as kids to planning (or, ahem, rehearsing) how I want important conversations or interviews to go. It’s everything from attempting to plan my outfits to planning my career, my life, and possibly my death (I totally plan to live-tweet it).
For over a week it’s been F, Red and I and it’s been wonderful. As per usual, I made a solid attempt to plan everything out – from meals to adventures, swimming pool visits to movie nights on the couch. What I didn’t plan for was F to get sick. Or for Red to spend most of the weekend laying in bed exhausted from the excitement of chasing a toddler around.
It was an impromtu snugglefest that reminded me that you can’t plan for the best things in life. You can’t plan the best way to fall in love. You can’t plan for those magical, impromtu hugs that seem to grab your heart and soul and warm them up with a squeeze. You can’t omit the occassional meltdown and hiccup from your plans, no matter how hard you try.
The beauty of life is that things come as they’re meant to, whether we realize it or not. Timing is everything – we just don’t have the clock. Blessings and surprises are hiding around every corner, but you’ll never see them if you’re trying to pencil them in somewhere else.
I didn’t plan to fall totally head over heels this spring. I didn’t plan on giving up so much of my independence to be a part of something bigger than just me. I hadn’t planned on introducing someone so important to F. But, I would have missed out on a lot of I’d been so busily wrapped up in trying to plan it all out.
If there’s anything I’ve learned so far this year, it’s this:
Just let it happen.
I am a planner.