2014 · single mom

Little Change

Although I wasn’t totally sure we would, Little, F and I survived our three-week sleepover and I’m confident in saying that none of us were too much worse for the wear. It was a long three weeks at best, but between hiccups and tears I think we had a pretty great time. But something strange happened – F really changed.

Even when F’s sperm donor father was in the picture, it was usually just F and I. Even when we lived at Mom and Dad’s, it was F and I. Just the two of us and our own whacky, little dynamic. You probably didn’t know this, but F and I can be home for hours at a time and not even notice one and other. We can also spend hours snuggling and so focused on one and other that we miss everything around us. It’s pretty special – and while our dynamic is unique, I think it’s safe to say most parents share a similar bond with their kids. They’re the centre of our universe while simultaneously being an enormous pain in our asses. Amazing, no?

Needless to say, the addition of Little to our routine was a real switcheroo.

And it was hard. On all of us.

Because he wanted any attention at all, F misbehaved to make sure he got it. Because he was lonesome, Little often came into the middle of the few stolen moments F and I tried to share. Because I work 40 hours a week in an office, plus write my Frenzied Fashionista posts, plus I work out every evening, plus I try to have a social life and see Mr. Hockey Coach, I found myself getting short with both boys and my patience was pretty thin at the end.

But then, F just changed. His temperament was different – he listened better. He got himself ready for bed. He asked to go to bed at a reasonable hour. He ate his dinner at the table, put his plate in the sink and he was more helpful than ever. I said thank you more, I was angry and frustrated less… wait, did I change?

The differences between Little and F were stark, and I found myself appreciating some of F’s quirks more than ever before. Perhaps my appreciation sparked the change. But more on that later. I’ve got one last night of child-free bliss to thoroughly enjoy…

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