single mom

Gargantuan

I took an enormous leap yesterday when I sat in a beautiful conference room in Dartmouth that looked across Halifax Harbour and filled out about 30 forms to start my petition for divorce. It was a big step for me. Gargantuan, even.

Divorce. 


It’s a word I never wanted to use to describe my actions. I could never have anticipated that I’d be a divorced, single-mum by the time I was 26 but here we are. Congratulations, Universe: you got me good. It knocked the wind out of my sails for the day yesterday, and I’m like a wobbly-legged foal this morning but I’ll get there. But I’ll admit that I’m a little nervous about what the future holds.


Life probably won’t be much different, really. I’ll have closure. I’ll really be able to move on. I’ll be able to be truly happy, and finally put my fears and doubts and “what ifs” to rest. And I hope that it will mean that my ex will be able to move on and have happiness, too.

During this journey, just as I always have I find myself returning to a quote I heard when I was in my early teens. It’s a quote that describes my approach to life. It’s the quote next to my photo in my yearbook. The quote I share with students who are worried about what will happen after graduation.

You can only see as far as your headlights, but you can make the whole trip that way. — E.L. Doctorow

But just for fun, every now and again, I like to turn off my headlights and imagine what’s out there in the dark.

XO

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