It’s the most wonderful time of the year until you go out to a mall, grocery store, restaurant, market, or really anywhere public and happen upon crotchety jerks treating retail, food and beverage staff, or just the average other human being like garbage.

While waiting in line to buy some crackers and chocolate-covered marshmallow Santas (#nojudgmentzone), a man behind me was shifting impatiently from foot to foot, huffing loudly. When he made an under-the-breath remark about the cashier being “stupid” and “taking forever”,  I accepted my challenge.

Did you know you can drag out the counting of change to last 74 seconds? YOU CAN.

And I sure as shit did it. And then I thanked the cashier for being so patient with me and wished him a great day, but not before shooting my absolute best rage-filled dagger-eyes at the dude behind me.

Look, I get it. I’m as impatient as the next person. Sometimes I’m in a hurry or I mismanage my time. It can be frustrating to stand in a lineup to buy a single thing when the person in front of you has thirty items, twenty-one coupons, and they’re paying with nickels. But – stay with me here – that person has as much right to be in the store buying the thing as you do. And no one likes waiting.

The holiday season, though meant to be merry, can bring out the worst in people. For some, this season is wrought with emotional turbulence and stress. Don’t make that worse. I promise – it might take a little longer, but if you exercise a little patience and lighten the eff up, you’ll be a heck of a lot happier when you finish your holiday errands.

If you don’t have time to wait in line…. leave earlier or do us all a favour and stay the hell home.

If you can’t be kind or cheerful… at least be polite, or do us all a favour and stay the hell home.

If you think you’re better than the staff serving you… do us all a favour and stay the hell home.

And, if you’re going to be an ass… know that I will actively eff up your day or call you out for being a shitty human being.

Always remember, you have no idea what the person on the other side of your interaction is living through. Be just a little less Grinch-y. Please.