You might remember several months ago when I got sent to Twitter jail for telling someone to eff off when they suggested that sending my child to daycare was “letting someone else raise him”. While that exchange and subsequent blog post were written about S, who had been transitioning to the Toddler Classroom at daycare, the truth is that I felt a lot of things about dropping E off for his earliest days of childcare.

Those things were, in no particular order:

• Reassurance
• Guilt
• Excitement
• Worry
• Relief
• Fear
• Pride
• Gratitude

I love my kids. In fact, I’m pretty obsessed with the three of them. They’re among my absolute favourite human beings on this earth. And the decision to drop them off with other people every day isn’t always an easy one to make. Even now, as the littlest boys near two and four, there are days I wish I could just keep them at home with me all day.

But, they’re also better for having access to childcare.

Daycare and after-school childcare gave F some of his best friends. It was in childcare programs that F learned a lot of life skills, developed independence, and made really awesome memories.

As a household with two working parents, childcare isn’t a nice-to-have. It’s a have-to-have. Even as we sit here, the fortunate ones with reliable childcare for our kids, I feel frustrated by how inaccessible reliable childcare has become for our communities.

I feel doubly frustrated that, in 2025, we’re still living in a society that thinks it’s OK to shame parents for their childcare (or lack thereof).

I am a better parent for having access to childcare.

The hard truth is, although I love my kids, I also love my work. I love my independence. And one day, all three of these kids will be grown up and building their own lives. I want them to take that step with the knowledge and the example we’ve set: that you get to be your own version of you whether you have kids or not. Because when my kids are grown and building their own lives, I want to still have my life to live too.

When my kids come home at the end of the day, when I’ve spent my day working, I am the best version of Mom. Sometimes I feel guilty for that.

But mostly, I feel grateful.

Grateful that I have access to choice.

Grateful that I can afford safe care for my children.

Grateful that the men and women they spend their days with are highly educated and trained professionals who love what they do as much as I do.