single mom

Detriment

Irrational. 

It’s a word I found myself repeating over and over to myself on Saturday morning as I stood in my kitchen. I was being irrational. Completely and utterly irrational. Ridiculous even, and it’s made me realize exactly how detrimental self-talk can be. You see, while I was making myself a piece of toast and a cup of coffee before I got ready to work out, I almost called myself that f-word that I promised I wouldn’t.

You are not fat. You are being irrational. I shouldn’t be eating this bread. Carbs are bad.

Just because you are eating something does not make you fat. Tell that to my squishy stomach. I can’t believe I wasn’t working out all last month.

You are not fat because you haven’t been working out. You were busy. You can work out today and tomorrow. You just need your routine. Hmm, I was pretty busy… 

Working out today is not going to make you instantly skinny. It is going to help you be strong, and it will make you feel good. Working out today will make me feel good… and I need to eat in order to have energy and be strong.

You are not fat. You are being irrational. I am being irrational.

This, my friends, was the internal dialogue that went down in a pair of neon shorts while standing in a half-assed tree pose (otherwise known as my cookin’ pose) in the kitchen. It’s a conversation that once upon a time, I would have had out loud, in front of a mirror – until the day F asked me if he was “fat”. It’s a conversation lots of us have with ourselves and it’s a conversation that needs to stopI’d dump the friend or the boyfriend who made me feel bad about my body, so it’s time I dump my own habit of doing it. 

It might sound silly, but self-talk is important. It’s the stuff we do in the minutes before a date or an interview or while we’re trying to keep ourselves together standing in the longest line-up known to humanity at Starbucks when we just really need that coffee. But as much as we make it through hard times by telling ourselves to breathe, we also tear ourselves down unnecessarily. Or at least, I do. 

Tell yourself how awesome you are today. Made it to work on time? Go you! YOU SHOWERED? Fantastic – go eat a cookie! Seriously, eat the cookie. Don’t put yourself in a state of detriment. You’re better than that.

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