2016 · single mom

catcalling is not a compliment

One of my favourite ways to stay active is by running. I feel fortunate to live and work in a great community where I can explore many trails and enjoy a bit of nature without leaving the city. As I often do at lunch time, I laced up my running shoes and hit the pavement for a quick run today. I left feeling great, but I returned to the office feeling uneasy.

As I started my run, I had to go around a group of high school students who had obviously set out to get lunch. Because I have too much metal in my left ear, I can’t wear my left earbud which means I’m probably much safer while running because I can hear what’s going on around me. I heard them laughing as I passed.

I lucked out at the intersection, able to run across the road without a wait. Just after passing the 1km mark, a rusty pickup truck came into view. The windows were open. HEY BABE, LOOKING GOOD, the driver yelled as he beeped the horn and waved. The other guys in the truck leaned forward to stare at me. I kept running. And then I looked over my shoulder to make sure they kept driving. That’s a bad feeling, by the way. To feel like you need to look over your shoulder. I kept running.

At the three kilometre mark, I stopped to stretch and turned around. As I ran, I noticed cars noticing me – men and women looked toward the sidewalk. A lady walking smiled at me. A couple said hello. The cold air was invigorating, the fresh air cleared my mind and my legs felt strong beneath me as I completed the 5.5km run and stopped into Starbucks for a coffee. And then the wind was taken out of my sails entirely.

I stood at the intersection waiting for the light to change. Cars drove by. Cars, close enough for me to kick, driven by ogling men. One man waved to me. Another opened his window and asked me how my run had been, smirking. Another beeped. I felt embarrassed. I felt uncomfortable. I felt unsafe.

I felt embarrassed. 

I felt uncomfortable.

I felt unsafe. 

Catcalling is not a compliment: it’s disgusting. A male acquaintance told me to be “pleased” – those men thought I was attractive. You’re hot, he said. I told him to stick it. There is no way  -under layers of winter running gear, red-faced and huffing in my headband and turtleneck – that I look “hot”. It’s not flattering. It’s disgusting. It’s not a compliment, it’s creepy. It doesn’t make me feel pretty, it makes me feel unsafe.

It makes me feel unsafe in the way that a strange man telling me to smile makes me uncomfortable. In the same way that I smile because I just want to be left alone. It makes me look over my shoulder. It makes me run faster. It makes me not want to run.

And that, my friends, is absolute fucking bullshit.

PSA: catcalling is not a compliment. Don’t do it. K, thanks.

Advertisements

5 thoughts on “catcalling is not a compliment

  1. OMG this makes me so furious for you! I HATE catcalling – it immediately ruins my run. My neighborhood is a bit crazy so I usually drive a few minutes to my favorite trailhead, but one day last summer I decided to run there from my apartment building instead. A man literally leaned out the window of my very own apartment building and catcalled me as I ran by. I have never felt so upset, embarrassed, and angry on a run. It just takes away all the good vibes I get from exercising and I hate it! I just wanted to let you know that you’re not alone in feeling the way you did, and it’s not right that any of us have to feel this way. Thank you for writing this post and sharing your experience!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s mind-boggling. What does a man expect to achieve by catcalling a woman who is very obviously not going to stop and engage? C’mon, guys. We know you’re not really that stupid.

      Like

  2. I haven’t gone for a run in Halifax, but I’ve definitely experienced gross catcalling while walking and/or waiting for the lights to change. I tend to get comments on my smile and/or my breasts, neither of which are appreciated. I’m so happy to see more and more people calling out catcalling! Thank you!

    Like

  3. I know the area. I know the general route. This makes me so upset. 😦 That is an awful lot to encounter on ONE lunchtime run. I am sorry that happened and so, so, so, sooooo very grossed out.

    It is such – I hate to say it – piggish behaviour. Actually, no. PIGS are cute and smart. It isn’t piggish. It is the behaviour of an underdeveloped, stunted, mindset. Troglodytes.

    Terrible.

    Like

    1. I used to love running in the evening. Now I only run during the day. The good news is they’re usually just trolling and I’m probably not in real danger, but it’s off-putting and demeaning.

      Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s