2017 · single mom · travel

who says?

Tomorrow morning, RomCom and I are hopping on a plane at stupid o’clock in the morning to head to the Sunshine State. Oh, and we’re going solo. F will be staying at home, with my (rockstar) Mum for a week.

Being the bundle of excitement I am, I happily shared my travel plans with friends, colleagues, and family but more often than not, one strong message rang through: A lot of people seemed to feel I should be bringing F. 

But… who says? 

Not only will this be our first vacation as a couple, it’s my first time visiting Florida and the last time I left the country was actually 10 years ago, during the summer I was 19. Ten. Years. Ago. 

I began blurting out all the reasons why F wasn’t coming with me.

We’re staying with RomCom’s parents in a one-bedroom condo, so space was a barrier. 

There are passport issues as a result of my separation, and while J would sign the paperwork in a heartbeat, we were too crunched for time to get the new court order drafted, signed, and ready for us to cross the border. (Also, I don’t really want to be travelling with a court order right now.)

I don’t really want F to miss a full week of school.

Slowly but surely, it sucked the excitement out of me. Maybe I was doing the wrong thing. I actually asked RomCom if we’d paid for cancellation insurance. My guilt was eating me up.

In the middle of explaining myself one day, my colleague (and dear friend) looked at me and said:

Stop apologizing for prioritizing your relationship. You deserve a vacation with RomCom. You have earned it. Your relationship will be better for it, you will have fun and unwind, and F needs a mum who’s happy… not a week-long getaway.

And she’s right. When did it become the standard for kids to do everything the adults are doing? F goes to the movies about once a month, eats out once (or more!) a week, and we go away every summer. This year, RomCom and I plan to take him away more than once: camping trips, a weekend in Montréal… why should he automatically join us on another trip?

While F, as my child, is always my number one priority when it comes to many aspects of my life, RomCom and our relationship is also a priority. I’m no relationship expert, but I do believe prioritizing your partner (and especially spending time together) is rather key to a successful relationship. 

So, tomorrow morning, RomCom and I are hopping on a plane at stupid o’clock in the morning to head to the Sunshine State. I’m not bringing my kid. I’m not sorry. 

And I’m going to have a blast.

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