Look, I am all for your entrepreneurship. I applaud you for taking a chance and making this sales thing you’re doing work for you. I know it takes grit, hard work, and a lot of creativity.
I also know where to find you if I want to buy whatever the fresh hell it is you’re selling this month.
(And I’d like you to hear me out for a second here because even if you think I’m the “perfect customer” for the product you’re touting, it rarely comes across as a friend helpfully offering advice on a product.)
When you try to sell me a weight loss product or regime, you’re telling me my body isn’t good enough. Don’t try to hide it under the guise of “you’re so committed to health and wellness!” because I don’t buy it and I won’t buy it.
(Not to mention, I prefer real food to weird shakes filled with ingredients I can’t pronounce and exercise over those stinky body-wrap-things.)
When you hit me up constantly to buy your makeup or skincare products that will make my skin “look amazing”, you’re telling me I don’t look good enough right now and that my appearance somehow needs to be improved.
And the hair stuff, and nail stuff? Ditto. I like my hair and my nails and the products I use. I spend a lot of time and money on them in the same way I’m sure you like your preferred products. I don’t push mine on you (and I certainly don’t guilt you into buying them), so please respect that I’m a grown-ass woman who makes decisions based on my own preferences.
Also, I love you but I’m not responsible for your salary and to be honest, I probably can’t justifiably afford that $350 skincare line you’re trying to tell me my ageing skin needs.
Am I saying I won’t ever try the product you’re selling?
Um, no. I’ve tried and bought lots of things friends were selling. I said I’d never wear granny panties and I bought six pairs two weeks ago. Shit you not! What I am saying is you’re my friend and I would like it to stay that way. If I want to buy something you’re selling, trust that I will come to you.
Please don’t add me to all your Facebook groups and bombard me with private messages saying, Wouldn’t you love to lose ten pounds by Christmas? because that’s not only asinine and rude but would actually be really dangerous for me.
Please don’t take it personally when I say no, and also, please accept that “no” and take it at face value: I meant it.
I want you to succeed as much as you do, but you’re one of the many friends trying to sell me a thing I don’t want or need. I want to hear about your workday and how things are going without the expectation I’m going to be the sale that makes you hit your monthly target.
I want us to be friends, not a transaction.
But I promise you this, friend: I will promote what you’re doing. When another friend asks if I know someone selling XYZ, I’ll give them your name. And if I decide I’m ready to try it, you will be my first call.